Does anyone want to come to a pity party?

This has been a rough week. Boys were sick, then I got food poisoning, which lasts about a week (I'm still not able to work and it's day 6), then Nathan got sick. This meant a not-so-great Father's Day, followed by me missing out on several hundreds of dollars worth of missed work. Unfortunately, working for yourself, you don't get paid sick days.

So I basically spend HOURS at the computer. Playing my game, checking Facebook, refreshing my email (no, Molly, you haven't gotten any new emails in the last 3 minutes since last checking). While on the computer today I found out a friend of a friend, who I don't even know is dying. He's been dying a slow and terrible death, and finally, today he will be at peace. I don't know him, never met him, he's never heard of me, and he lives like 8 states away, and yet I keep crying over this poor man. He's my age, has a 7 year old daughter who doesn't understand what's going on, and a wife who has to go on living even though I'm sure she'll just want to crawl under the covers and die too.

In the meantime, I'm already crying, so why NOT listen to the several voicemails I have saved on my computer from my mom, who died 9 months ago? I'm already sitting here with Pain and Sadness at my pity party, why not add in Torture? So I listened to my mom's voice for the first time since September. Some made me laugh, like the one where she went on and on and then said goodbye, but didn't hang up. I could hear her walking and talking to the dog, and then she must have looked at her phone, thought someone had called her, and said, "Hello?"  And some just made me sad, like where she mentioned Declan and Cash's names, and how she wanted to spend time with them, but in the end they weren't enough motivation to keep her here.

Sorry this is so depressing but it is, well, a pity party. It will go on for exactly 12 more minutes, then I'm going to get up, make something to eat (gee, will it be bananas, rice, applesauce, or ... hmmm... toast!?) and maybe maybe clean up the house a little, and wait for my 2 favorite little boys to come in and give me big hugs and kisses. The odds are also in my favor that Cash will randomly yell, "Happy Mommy Day!" like he does so often. Declan will inevitably drool all over me (more drool = more love, you know). We'll snuggle together and read, and I'll probably think back to my friend's friend, and get a little teary eyed. I'll squeeze them tighter and kiss them til it annoys them. And I;ll be thankful for everything that my life is.