The things we're teaching.

Parenting is a big responsibility. There is this little person (or two) that you are in charge of. You are supposed to teach them all the do's and don't's of life. The things that are appropriate... or not. Oh, and don't get me started on manners. If you aren't teaching your children manners and how to be polite, and respect others, then SHAME ON YOU. Don't even get me started.

Here's the thing, though. Having small children is also an opportunity to teach them how to have fun, how to be silly, and with that: how to be creative.  And sometimes you just can't help but show them the things that make life fun, even if they aren't always the most appropriate. Here are some things we do in our household to have fun.

Dipping: one of the first thing that parents show children while thinking, "I know I'm going to regret this at every meal after this."  There is nothing more magical to a toddler than dipping. Whether it's pancakes into syrup sausage into orange juice, hot dogs into ketchup carrot sticks into soup, or chicken nuggets into ranch green beans into yogurt, dipping.is.fun.

Snuggling: not that snuggling is bad. Not at all. Forget about that 1% of you (well, me at least) that appreciates a sick kid when they wouldn't snuggle with you otherwise.  Or when you sacrifice watching adult TV and suffer through a.n.o.t.h.e.r. episode of Caillou (yech!) in exchange for two snuggling boys. Oh, and then there was last night, when Cash got out of bed, came to my room where I was reading, and said, "Mommy, I want to snuggle with you."  I didn't care that it was 10:00 at night. I said, "Come on up, Monkey." And prayed we weren't starting a bad habit.

Bodily noises: seriously. You can't live with two little boys and not laugh when they look surprised after a fart, smile at you after a burp, or giggle while making themselves sneeze just so YOU will laugh (true story: Declan somehow made himself sneeze about 15 times). Or the best is when Nathan or I fart (gasp!) and look at the boys and THEY say, "'Scuse me."  HAHAHA!  Funny kiddos.

A few other honorable mentions: Nathan showing them how to put the couch pillows on the floor and jump off the couch onto them (while I was at work!), giving them a snack right before dinner... so I can make dinner, and getting our clothes all wet from playing in puddles - it's just water, people! Clothes will dry.

I know there are many more things, and maybe even a few I wouldn't want to publicly admit on my blog (but will gladly share with you after a glass of wine). But overall, I am very content and happy that we are raising two VERY polite, very sweet, and uber-hilarious children.

The things I don't want to forget.

I love watching my get bigger and smarter and funnier. The things that come out of their mouths amaze me. Especially when Cash dropped the s-bomb after spilling cold water on himself (at least he used it correctly!) and the time he said, "damn it!" all day at daycare. Which, by the way, my daycare lady's husband thought was hilarious. We thought it was funny too, but obviously had to nip in the bud!  Recently we've had two funny stories that I want to remember, so I'll document them while also keeping you amused for a few minutes.

Nathan is currently in New Jersey for a training, and so I have the boys on my own for a few days. We had to go run some errands on Sunday (he had already left town) so I told Cash that we had to leave in a little while to go run some errands. He said that he didn't want to go, and that I could go, and he would watch Declan. I said, "You are going to babysit?" and he said, "No I'll just watch him."  I told him that was very sweet but that this time they could just both go with me. Then I sweetened the deal with Apple Dippers from McDonalds (which was selfish because I really just wanted a Coke).  We still had some free coupons for the Apple Dippers so we wouldn't want them to go to waste!

Then today we were on our way to daycare and at a stoplight.  There is a gas station at that light, and then a liquor store across the street.  We've been at that stoplight hundreds of time, so he know that is where Daddy gets beer (which is funny because Nate has actually NEVER shopped there). So here is how that conversation went:

Cash: Look, Mommy! There's Daddy's beer truck!
Me:  Yup, that one's called Miller Lite.
C: What's that man doing?
M: He's taking the beer inside to the store.
C: Maybe Daddy can get beer from the beer truck.
M: Nope, the truck takes it to the store and then Daddy has to go to the store to get it. He can't get it from the truck. But sometimes if we go to a nice restaurant he can get it there. Not like McDonalds, though.
C: Yea, McDonalds is mean.
M: What?
C: McDonalds is mean.

I then spend  5 seconds trying to figure out what he's talking about when I realize that I said we had to go to a NICE restaurant (as opposed to a mean one). I started laughing and then spent the next few minutes trying to explain 'fancy' to him. 

Too funny. That kid cracks my shit up. Oops - I guess we know where he gets the swear words...

The joys of potty training.

My whole life right now revolves around peeing and pooping. No joke. Although I've gotten hear so many people brag about their early potty trainers ("She was fully trained by two!" "He watched his older brother and was trained by 18 months" "She walked out of my uterus and said, "Mommy, I have to go!""), my almost-three-year-old was apparently a slacker. He just showed no interest. So I wasn't going to push it, although spending $40 a month on diapers (times two kids!) was really starting to get on my nerves.

I started prepping Cash about a month before his third birthday. When someone would ask him how old he was going to be on his birthday, his answer became a robotic, "Three, and we don't wear diapers when we're three." This always got a laugh, but underneath it was serious tone.

About two weeks after we started this mantra,  we took a weekend to begin. Off with the diaper, on with the big boy underwear (forget superheroes and dinosaurs, he has to have underwear that looks like Daddy's!), and in with the fluids. He went pee 7 times that day! Woohoo! Stickers and candy all around! From then on, he was pee-trained. 

Now comes the hard part (literally... ew!). Pooping. For some reason little kids are afraid to poop on the potty. I'm not sure if it's the new sensation (lack of sitting in your own $hi+??) or the actual poop itself (apparently some kids think it's going to "get them!") but he began to hold it. And hold it. And hold it. Anyone who's ever been constipated can relate. Poor little dude. Cue increase of non-diluted apple juice, decrease in bananas, and a pooping prize-box.

*side note - I did have an episode last night with a floater in the tub. Good news was I got him out in time to finish on the potty. Poor Declan - he did NOT look happy about the extra bath toy in his bath (they were bathing together!).
I think I can (knock on wood) say that Cash is now OFFICIALLY potty trained. And 95% of it was by his 3rd birthday.  Thanks to the grandparents buying lots of new undies for him, we now got a $40 a month raise! Go Cashy!

Out of the Darkness

Well, it's been a LONG time since my last post, and since the last one was about my mom, I'll start again with the same subject. On October 1st, I did the Out of the Darkness walk for suicide awareness and prevention. Thanks to the generosity of my friends and family, I raised over $600 for the cause, and our team was 3rd place in raising money. What an amazing walk it was. Although it was cold, the sun was out, and people were in good spirits. The group that put the walk on did an amazing job. They put together a video of the walker's loved ones who had commited suicide, offered a banner you could sign, a reflection area, and even a smores station halfway through.

We had a wonderful group to walk with. Shalene, Stefanie and her mom, San, Lori, Breona, and two new friends we met that day, Kitty and her husband, Dave. Oh, and a four-legged friend, Churchill. We all had lost a friend or a loved one. My favorite thing about the walk (which was also very sad) was you could wear beads representing the loved one that you lost. Red for a spouse, orange for a parent, green for sibling, and so on. It was interesting to see, without even talking to a person, a little piece of their story.

The walk was another step closer to having closure. It was good to bring the somewhat taboo issue "out of the darkness" and to be able to talk frankly about our stories and the issue. I hope to do it again next year, and hope that they money raised will help others.

I miss my mom.

Tomorrow it will have been a year since my mom died. I've done a lot of reflecting this week on my relationship with my mom. The ups, the downs, and the slightly (or not-so-slightly?) crazy.

I always knew that she would take her own life. For as long as I remember, she always said she believed in what Dr. Kevorkian was doing assisting the elderly or in pain to end their lives. I know it sounds crazy but she always said she wasn't going to live her life in pain or with someone having to take care of her every need. I think she was particularly fearful of Alzheimers. But I never thought it would be before my children were grown.

Although my mom was only 61, she had many problems both mentally and physically. She had been bipolar for a long time and was the poster child for alternating between extreme manic times and extreme depressing times.  She was starting to have problems with her memory forgetting entire conversations, or just little details.  She also had some physical problems ranging from shoulder issues, migraines, and a weird stomach lesion thing that only allowed her to eat sweets and meat.

Despite all of that (and so much more), I try to remember the good times that I had with her. I am glad that she was able to meet both of my children. She loved them so much, always buying them little toys, and just being happy to read a book or sit on the floor and play with them. I have a few pictures of her with each of the boys, playing with them, and reading, and that's something I'll always treasure.

There are so many other things that stick out in my mind. Although she drove me nuts, we had a lot of good times too.  It seemed to alternate every other moment. I was particularly sentimental the other day while I was at Taco Bell of all places.  She always loved the verde salsa from there and then it was discontinued for awhile. The other day I saw that it was back, and available in little packets so you could put it on yourself.  I thought of my mom and thought what a shame it was that she wasn't around to see that.  Stupid, I know, but made me sad nonetheless.

On October 1st, I'll be doing a walk called Out of the Darkness. The goal is to increase suicide awareness and work on methods of prevention. My goal is to raise $500 and I'm almost there. I hope that it can help many people through what I've been through, and maybe prevent some people from making the tragic decision to end their lives.

I Tri(ed) and did awesome!

I DID IT! I wrote down a list of goals when I turned 31: Things I wanted to accomplish.  On that list of a half a dozen items, "Complete a triathlon" was on my list.  I had just completed a 5k, which was a goal for when I had turned 30, so I was feeling good about it. As the months wore on, I lost focus and motivation and came up with a list of excuses why I 'couldn't' do it. No time to train, I'm not strong enough, I don't have a bike, I'll probably finish last... excuse after excuse. Then as the summer wore on, and I was losing weekends every time I turned around, I decided I needed to do it. Why the HELL not!? Why NOT me?  Ok, so I probably would still finish last but hey! At least I would have finished!

So I made the time.  I got stronger. I borrowed a bike. And in the end I didn't finish last. (Close to last but oh well - just more room for improvement!)  And it was amazing. Other than growing and birthing two little humans in my body (which really was left more up to biology than sheer will) it was the most awesome thing I've ever done.

Race day came and with lots of advice from one friend in particular (my inspiration - thanks Jen Lake!), I got all set up, felt the water, relaxed, and set in to enjoy it. "You only get one first tri," she said. I was slow in the water - but not the slowest - and I didn't drown!  Great start! Got on the bike with a rush of adrenaline, and I was off!  I even looked all official with my tri suit and the gu I was 'eating' on the bike. And I was passing people! Woohoo! Got done with the bike, and now I was really pumped - just a simple (ha!) 3 miles and I'm a triathlete!  I just took it one mile at a time, and wow. I told Nathan that although it sounds cheesy, I felt so liberated! I'm doing it! I'm DOING a triathlon! I am a strong and amazing woman! Go me!!


Passed that finish line, almost threw up on my friends who were congratulating me (almost), and enjoyed the feeling of success. I'm already looking forward to my next tri, in a few weeks. I'm going to shave at least 10 minutes of time, and put myself in a good position for next year. Now if only I can convince Nathan to do one with me. :) That will be on my goal list when I turn 32.

                                                           Before the tri - bring it on!

                                                                   After the tri - I SURVIVED!

Bro-bro see, bro-bro do.

Most of the time I LOVE the fact that my boys are only 17 months apart. They play together, they watch the same TV shows, and they even go to bed within 20 minutes of each other. They both still nap, they both love to eat, and they both love torturing the cat.

But sometimes, even though they are ONLY 17 months apart, they are STILL 17 months apart! Declan doesn't seem to realize that he is smaller, not as strong, and not as dexterous as Cash is. I try to never utter the words, "You can't do that," or "You're just too little," but sometimes he CAN'T do that, and he IS just too little. Once Declan has it in his mind that he wants to do something Cash is doing there is no stopping him.


About a few months ago, Declan decided that he was too big for the high chair. If bro-bro sat at the big (little kids) table, then he has to as well. Cashy's brushing his teeth?  Well, he has to also! And just today I tried to give him a banana piece OUT OF THE PEEL but NOPE! Declan has to eat his like Cash is eating his, holding the bottom of the banana and peeling it down (only he can't peel it down yet, so I still have to help).

Mostly this is great. Cash sets great examples and it's much easier to get Declan to do things that Cash is doing. Unless I don't want him too. Then it's the end of the world if he has to drink his juice box out of his cup in the car while Cash gets to drink it right from the packaging.

Here's to hoping Cash keeps setting good examples - and stops torturing the cat.